Friday, March 12, 2010

Rachel K. Family Envy

I went to bed last night and watched Chuck in order to ignore my crippling feelings of inadequacy that I seem to get every time one of my cousins gets a full ride scholarship to a graduate school... and by "every time" I mean twice now.


Seriously though, how awesome is that!? My cousins are like Brilliantosaurus Rex! One of them, Olivia [pictured left], is studying and working for her PhD (I think) at NYU. She gets to study things in petri dishes, which she seems to thoroughly enjoy. The most recent news from the East coast family is that my other cousin, Dave [pictured left], is going to be studying and working for his masters at a school in Louisiana. They're both so focused on the things they want to study and they're both REALLY good at those things! It's no wonder the schools they've found want to pay them to be there and to help them expand their knowledge of the great wide world. Underneath my happy familial pride and joy, I'm envious as all hell! Man! Where does one find a program that pays YOU to go learn and earn a masters??? Maybe those only exist for obscure studies like the weirdo things Olivia and Dave are into (biochem and ... chasing alligators outdoors on motorcycles?)


I guess the fact of that matter is my cousins and my sister are all super brilliant at the things they do. My other cousins are all doing their own things in their own places and they're doing them WELL. Kristin [pictured below, top left], in Baltimore, is also attending a masters program and I believe she isn't paying full tuition either. I'll have to talk to her more about what she's been up to in order to give you more gossip. My culinary cousin Alan [below, bottom left] went to a two year culinary program in North Carolina and now he's working as an asst. chef in Virginia. Lastly, my sister [below, bottom right], who I am forever proud of, is working as an intern for Nickelodeon in Los Angeles. I'm so happy that she was able to break into an industry I only half-heartedly tried to get into myself in 2006 and 2006. She worked hard, applied to lots of internships, and now she's livin' the junior dream! My youngest cousin, Mo, is only twelve years old, but he amazes me already. He's athletic, kind and bright. There doesn't seem to be any challenge this kid can't defeat, and I know he'll do wonderful things now and in the future.

I just want to live up to the extraordinary expectations my family members are setting. I can't help like feeling like I don't tend to set or reach long term goals because I'm so used to inconsistency in my life. The whole never living anywhere for longer than four years, changing environments drastically, new friend groups,  new hobbies, new likes, new dislikes, and new jobs as different from one another as they come. How do I know I can achieve my goal of getting into a masters program and following through long enough to become a teacher when I was convinced I wanted to be an animator or a film director when I was 18? Or when I was trying to break into the casting industry in 2006? Or when I decided I was going to live in Japan and open a coffee shop in 2008? If there's always the expectation of an expiration date on whatever I'm doing and wherever I'm living, how can I make myself think long-term thoughts? How does anyone else do that anyway?

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